Letter to My Husband: I miss you

My Husband:

I look at you.  My love.  The one I married.

My best friend.

Sometimes I don’t recognize you.

Months of sleep lost, cranky demeanors, no time alone – we rarely connect.

You aren’t happy, I can tell.

You Are Man. You want sex.

I Am Woman. I want intimacy before sex.

Neither of us are satisfied.

You were my best friend.  My heart.

Now you are Daddy – showering the love on the children. The affection.

Which makes me love you even more.

But sometimes, I want affection too.  A glance. A caress. A kiss “just because.”

I am not just Mommy.

I am your wife.

And I miss you.

17 Comments

Filed under Me, The Husband

17 responses to “Letter to My Husband: I miss you

  1. Wow! This hits awfully close to home for me. In fact, my hubby and I just had a discussion about it. Having a child really does change your marriage, in some wonderful ways, but also difficult ones.

  2. Suburbian Man

    I have to agree … wow. My wife and I had that conversation; it is amazing at how close our conversation was to your poem.

    Unfortunately, while I did listen … I didn’t hear. We drifted further apart until one day we had to have a conversation we never thought we would. With plenty of communication and counseling we are repairing our marriage. We just the other day communicated that we both feel more connected and in love with each other than we ever have in our relationship. That is what our blog is about, these experiences. We have learned we have to put ourselves first at times … and that is what is best for the children.

    • Surbian Man – That is what I’m discovering – if I put everyone else first and ignore my own needs – I become bitter and short tempered. That is not the mother/wife I wish to be. So I find myself fighting to carve ME time, but my husband doesn’t fully understand it. He’ll “allow me” but he resents it. I know he needs time to himself as well and he probably doesn’t get enough. Then no time is left for US.

      It’s something I’m hoping to remedy.

      I’m glad you and your wife finally are finally hearing each other.

      Thank you so much for commenting.

  3. Suburbian Woman

    I know my husband already commented but i have to say what a comfort it is to hear other people going thru the same struggles. I think thats why many of us blog, to share our human experience and feel understood and connected. This particular post brought tears to my eyes as I thought, “YES! She knows just what I’m going thru!” Good luck to you and your husband and thank you for sharing yourself with us.

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  6. You are not alone. I’m not sure what it is that causes the shift in the ability to communicate. Maybe the weight of the relationship changes, the importance of it, making any serious conversation more tentative?
    I came by from TRDC, and am glad you put this ‘out there’.

  7. It’s so hard to make the adjustment after having a baby. Completely changes marriage.

  8. Oh honey- this was a heart-wrenching read! Yes, those babies sure do change a marriage. And change? Is just down right hard! Hang in there, Mama, and know that you’re not alone!

  9. Been there, felt that. The fact that you can put it on paper and not just let it fester, unattended, inside is a very positive and tough step.
    Focus shifts and you forget who you used to be to each other.
    Keep talking, and kissing, and connecting.

  10. Totally been there. Still am sometimes. :P

  11. Thanks for sharing what so many of us are feeling every day.
    Visiting from TRDC.

  12. That went straight to my heart. The simple language only makes the sincerity of it more affecting.

  13. Wow. A post that anyone who is married can identify with at some point in their journey together. Thanks for having the courage to be authentic and posting this.
    Stopping by from TRDC

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